Second Chances

Maybe I'm a sucker for second chances. I am the one that wrote about Vick before everyone decided to forgive him, but I'm talking about one person in particular this time. I think it's time everyone forgive Chris Brown. I know that the Rhianna punching isn't the easiest thing to forgive but I think we can look past this if we can turn a blind eye to other celebrity mishaps.

Think about it most of us forgave Mel Gibson after his drunken rant where he slandered Jewish people and called a police woman sugar tits. Most people still refuse to believe Michael Jackson was the ultimate creep. People still watch Tom Cruise's movies and he's a psycho scientologist. Does anybody remember Kobe's infidelities, I thought not. Give Green Bay a couple years and even they will for give Favre.

Maybe it's the fact that I've been searching music videos on YouTube for the past hour, but I really do think Chris Brown has a talent that needs a second chance. I'm not saying love the guy, but I ask remember there was a time that he was on the radio, and more often then not, I wouldn't change the station. I mean if Red Sox can forgive Roger Clemons; oh wait they can't bad example.

NFL Is Back

I'm back after a long hiatus. A man can't go to Texas, and expect to hit the keyboard right away. But I'm back and just in time for the NFL to start. I want to point out the obvious before I point out the obviously funny.
The Obvious: I predict the AFC will be represented by either New England or Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl. I say the NFC is up for grabs(Cowboys!) but don't want to impose my bias opinion on you(COWBOYS!).

Now the Obviously Funny:

• Detroit decided to go ahead and play the 2009-10 season. I imagine owner, William Clay Ford, saying "We can't do worse than last year." That's the spirit.
• The NFL rules and regulations committee needs to set up an age limit for it's players. Not that they're coming in to young, but when you have senior citizens that just had hip replacement surgery still playing...... Oh, well my editor just informed me that I had my information mixed up. It seems Brett Favre didn't get hip replacement, but arthroscopic surgery to his throwing arm. Never mind then let the old guy play.
• Josh McDaniels. What a guy. A young coach, comparable to Mike Tomlin. A great mind, the mind behind Bill Belichick's '08-'09 Pats. What a..... Yoko. Who in the Mile High City would have thought that their franchise quarterback would be throwing passes in Chicago by the '09-'10 season. All because Cutler's a baby and McDaniels wanted Matt Cassel. Matt Cassel, that leads me to my next point:
• Matt Cassel: BUST. That felt good. Now I'm in the mood for calling out more busts
• Carson Palmer: BUST.
• Matt Leinart: BUST.
• Mark Sanchez:_______(reserved)
• The scoreboard in Dallas is so big, that I swear I saw it when I flew over Dallas. With a scoreboard that stretches from the 20 yard line to the 20 yard line, I think it's safe to say that It is definitely the second biggest object in the new Cowboy Stadium after Jerry Jones' ego.
• How is it that JaMarcus Russell can never come to camp in shape? Not that the guy ever was in shape, but for an athlete, especially a quarterback. I'd expect more.
• OchoCinco, EightFive for the non-spanish speaking community, is predicting great things. This wouldn't be on my funny list, but Carson Palmer is the guy that throws the ball to him.
• And last but not least is how funny it's going to be to watch the Chargers win their division. They play Denver, Oakland, and KC twice.. TWICE! That my friends is Webster's definition of a Gimme.

The above topics all happened before the first snap of the regular season. I can only imagine what's to come during the season. One thing is for sure the next 5 months are the greatest months of the year.

How To Kick A Man While They're Down, As Told By Roger Goodell

"I accept that you are sincere when you say that you want to, and will, turn your life around, and that you intend to be a positive role model for others. I am prepared to offer you that opportunity. Whether you succeed is entirely in your hands."

Those were the words handed down by Roger Goodell, the NFL commissioner, earlier today to suspended quarterback Michael Vick. Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, there is a catch. Vick won't be able to participate in an actual game until week 6 of the NFL season. What I'm not understanding is how, after a two year suspension and a prison term, can the commissioner still suspend Vick for 6 more games. That is adding insult to injury and should not be tolerated by the NFL Players Association. I've read interviews and seen the grief in Vick's face and i can say that yes, he does feel remorse for what he did. Now I don't know if that's because he got caught or because he did it in the first place, but remorse is there. This guy is serious about playing in the NFL again and right now what the commissioner needs to do is step up to the plate and tell one of the most intriguing players in the league, "Ok, you've done your time, welcome back, but I'm watching you." In my opinion the only reason Goodell reinstated him was because he didn't want a popular(be it bad popularity or good popularity) player to leave to the UFL. They already have J.P. Losman. Add Vick to the mix and UFL, you might as well welcome ticket sales and TV ratings, because as much as many people hate Vick(I'm not one of them), people still want to see him play, be it to fail or succeed.

I know there's still no team that has publicly admitted they want Vick(a wildcat specialist before wildcat became popular), but they are out there. If he does get signed before week 1; count me to be the leader of the campaign for Vick to play before week 6.

63 Million? Really?

Matt Cassel is doomed for failure in Kansas City.(I somehow feel this statement is really going to come back and bite me right in the... ) How can you give a career back up a 63 million dollar contract with 28 million guaranteed? That means if he turns out to be the worst decision since Jerry Jones decided a face lift was in order, he would still walk out of the place 28 million richer. Who are they kidding? This guy was a decent quarterback in a great system. Even Rudy Ruettiger from that Notre Dame movie, Rudy, could succeed in that system. I would even put money on the guy that played Rudy, Sean Astin, could come up with 350 yards and 3 touchdowns in a game with Belichick making the calls. Unless Belichick and the whole offensive line are moving with him to KC, I don't see success in Cassel's future. He doesn't have good targets to throw to, a horrible offensive line, and not to mention NO BELICHICK MAKING THE CALLS. Either KC has lost it or Cassel is just that great of a con man. In that case, have the cell next to Madoff ready cause I'm out to expose Cassel. Really KC? 63 Million? Ok then, you have all season to prove me wrong.

Texas, Homecoming

I'll be going home for the first time in over a year in August. Texas might be the greatest state in the union, and if you've never met anyone from Texas, 90% of us think the same. The only exception is Wes Anderson, and maybe my wife. Both of whom I respect dearly. Why is Texas such a great place to be? Here comes my list that rivals any travel agent's brochure:

• I shouldn't even have to mention this, but the elixir of the Greek God's was rumored to be a formula closely resembling that of Dr. Pepper's formula. Dr. Pepper EST. 1885, Waco, TX.
• America's Team, The Dallas Cowboys.... I won't even elaborate on this. It could possibly go on for the rest of the article.
• Biggest state of usable land. Yes it is true that Alaska is bigger by square miles, but who can actually use all the tundra and ice. Texas has so much space, it's the iPod Classic of states. You have so much room you don't even know what to put on there, so you add fillers like Sinead O'Conner and Cyndi Lauper.
• I'm not sure if anybody is aware of the law that if you marry someone over the age of 21 and you, yourself, aren't 21 yet, you can legally drink alcohol in the state of Texas. Already I can feel a third of the population migrating south.
• Hate snow and big, some would even call them 'Great', lakes? Well go to Texas where all the lakes are manageable in size and snow fall is scarce. And if you really want to swim in a big body of water, the Gulf Of Mexico is to the east.
• I know some people that love to travel but aren't comfortable when they enter a state they've never been to. In Texas you can travel for hours straight in one direction and still be in, you guessed it, Texas. It took me 12 hours just to leave the state, and another 12 to get to Michigan.
• And last but not least, as one of Texas' greatest natives, George Strait, once said, Texas is the place I really love to be.

I think I just convinced myself. Oh and my wife(who proof reads my material) wanted it on record that SHE IS NOT A TEXAS HATER. (she just likes 15inches of snow, that's all)

News Worth Knowing

A couple of interesting things have happened in the past few weeks, lets review:

The first topic is our inconsistent judicial system. I've mentioned it before in my Michael Vick article and the last couple of weeks affirms my beliefs. The people who we elect to uphold the law are not consistent in their rulings. Two cases come to mind.

• Donte Stallworth, hits and kills a pedestrian while intoxicated and receives 30 days in jail, 10 yeas probation(2 years house arrest), and 1000 hours community service. This can be heavy sentence but remember, he killed a guy. Inconsistency comes in the form of another disgraced NFL'er who didn't kill anybody but killed animals and has just finished serving a 2 year prison sentence. Everybody, that officially means that you can kill someone in Florida and get a slap on the wrist but kill a dog in Virginia and you get 2 years in prison. That or Vick should have bought of somebody, anybody. I know these are different states with different laws and court systems, but it all boils down to the fact that the United States should be more consistent as a judicial system as a whole, not vary from state to state.
• Chris Brown viciously beats his then girlfriend, Rihanna, and gets 180 days community service and 5 years probation. Domestic violence isn't something prosecutors want people to be taking lightly, so why did they agree to a light sentence with Brown's plea deal. I guarantee if it were any regular person, a plea deal like that would never have existed.

Money screams louder than the law, and if you have it you might be the loudest person in the room. I hate to sound like a person that complains that the rich get off easy, but in most cases they do.

Another topic that I found worth mentioning is how an organization like PETA continues to use scare tactics and shock value to gets it's points across. They even called out President Obama on killing a fly. A FLY! It's just a fly, I'm pretty sure even Michael Vick can still kill flies and not be labeled the devil again. J.P. Goodman, founder of The Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade has openly criticized PETA for using what he calls silly claims and goofy stunts. Goodman believes that PETA should stop spreading horrible messages that make them look like extremists and get back to the basics, a voice for the animals. In the end that's what PETA looks like, extremists. Any pamphlet that you get from PETA is all about shaking your core and making you cringe. The same way violence isn't the answer to our worlds problems, neither is graphic imagery. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, I prefer to call them People Effectively Terrorizing America.

News worth Knowing brought to you by MME. I love me some MME.

Three To Watch

I've taken the liberty of watching a couple of movies and grouping them in their appropriate category.

First up, I Love You, Man. This movie is not what one might expect out of a typical guy movie like Old School or BeerFest. The movie chronicles the road it takes to go from stranger to best man at a wedding all without a single homophobic remark about two guys being good friends. Jason Segal and Paul Rudd star in what I'll categorize as a Romantic Comedy.

Next up, The Hangover. Doug is about to get married and what a better place for his two closest friends and his oddball brother-in-law to host a bachelor party than Las Vegas. After a night of partying they wake up not remembering a thing and with the groom missing. The guys must piece together a puzzle of a night that includes a baby, a hospital, Mike Tyson, a tiger, a stripper, and of course a conflicted Chinese gang leader. A bunch of guys who's names I could type here and nobody would probably know any of them star in what I'll categorize as a Mystery.

And last up is, Up. Disney and Pixar team up for another hit with this animated film about an man's promise he intends to keep to his wife. The score and style of Up is unlike any other D/P film in the way that the first 15 minutes of the movie has very little dialogue and revolves more around a montage time sequence. This film can satisfy a kid with the computer animation and humorous storyline, while capture emotions in adults with the love story that lies underneath the whole plot. If anything this movie makes you appreciate the time you have with the one you love. Because this film covers so much I think I can categorize it as one phrase and most people would understand: Disney/Pixar.

Three Movies, three reviews, now go watch.

Signs Of the Times

A collection of headlines that I've read through out the month, in my perspective:

• A suburban Pennsylvania woman lies to police when she falsely reports that two black men have abducted her and her daughter. She was apprehended in Orlando, Florida enjoying a day at Disney World with her daughter. Have we not learned anything from real life runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks. Black men, Puerto Rican men, or any other type of men don't like abducting depressed suburban women.
• Great news for all the baseball purist because LA's Manny Ramirez was not taking steroids. Woman's fertility drugs maybe, but not steroids. Ramirez is currently serving his 50 game suspension, or as one Sports Illustrated writer calls it, 'maternity leave'.
• The vehicle make I drive is officially 60% owned by the U.S. government. Sorry GM, or should I say Government Motors.
• Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor gets no love from Republicans, citing reasons like 'She's Racist' and 'a radical'. Because the last thing we need in this country is a group of racist that make radical statements like 'the terrorists want to kill your babies'. Either that or they feel like they might be pushed out from that pantheon.
• Spencer and Heidi are still famous.
• A judge in Saudi Arabia ruled that it is legal to slap your wife for spending to much money.
• And finally, an Ohio high school cancels graduation after learning of a cheating scandal that an estimated 60 graduating seniors were involved in. Said one parent of the cancellation, "the school district is treating them like a bunch of criminals". Don't worry no jail time was involved but, I would say the school treated them like a bunch of cheaters would be more of an appropriate statement.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, these are the times we live in.

Sounds Delicious

Every once in a generation there comes a person so sarcastic and mean spirited that you just have to stop and pay attention. I've met that person and he's a 17 year old college student. I've been trying to figure out how to plug this site without it sounding better than mine. 

http://www.scrumptiouscereal.blogspot.com

Written and drawn, by Chris W. Adame, all the comic strips are based on actual thoughts and inspired by real life. The site is updated Monday, Wednesday, and Friday so you get input from someone who, to put it in his own words, has an 'alternative undertaking'.

Saved!

Not Saved! with Mandy Moore, but saved from the likes of the Governator. Terminator Salvation was so intense that I don’t even trust my own refrigerator. I was at work and I noticed the machines I refill with medications have a red eye on it. I pulled out a gun and asked it ‘What are you?’ and ‘Who made you?’ I stared at the blank screen. No answers. After further questioning I came back down to earth and moved on to the next floors.

 

The fourth movie in the franchise explosion that has become the Terminator answered many questions and opened up many others. I’ve been known to spoil movies but I won’t this time.  I screamed ‘Jack dies’ in Titanic at the opening credits. I walked out of Cloverfield telling everyone that was in line to see it next, ‘It’s an alien that looks like Godzilla on all fours’.But I’ll hold off this time. The movie takes place in 2018 and the war between man and machine is looking grim. A man on death row donates his body to Skynet in 2003. It turns out the one person who can help out the resistance isn’t a person at all.... I don’t want to completely ruin the movie, so I’ll stop there. Christian Bale plays a great John Conner and the 10 story high robot that kills humans will definitely give me nightmares for the days to come. This movie is sure to satisfy Terminator lovers and could probably bring in people to the franchise that have never seen a single movie.

 

The film receives 4 and a half stars on my scale with no merit once so ever.  And remember, the machines will rise up against us, it’s just a matter of when.

Quit being a hater and learn to love the T.O.

The media frenzy that is T.O. is back with an all new reality show on VH1 and a brand new team to terrorize. Yes I am a fan of T.O., I don't think I left the honeymoon phase and if he came back to the Cowboys I'd get my popcorn ready. Why such a fascination with T.O. It all has to do with two letter nicknames. Sorry Ocho Cinco, but my money is on LT and TO. Like Us Weekly loves Brangelina. The same exact way OK! Magazine loves Speidi, and the same nauseating way Entertainment Tonight likes TomKat, I love two letter nicknames.

I take a look at my track record and I see the evidence piles up against me. I perfer MJ of Pippen, JT over Fatone, M&M's over Twix. Even the person that brought it up to my attention has been shortened to 2 simple letters, JV. My wife, LA. Biggest city ever visted, NY. My favorite writer even shortens his name out to BS. It's something I've learned to except. I grew up in the texting age so TS.

Who knows maybe one day I'll live in DC, driving my VW, listening to my XM, but in the middle of a TI song, I switch over to the SI channel because MJ is on. Then I'll admit i have a problem, but in the mean time I can only be JA that lives in BS.

The Verdict On Vick

I'll start this off with a bold statement: What Michael Vick did was not wrong.

With that being said I should explain myself to the masses. Vick is a victim to an inconsistent judicial system, bad media, and himself.

First off, the judicial system that sentenced him to 2 years in prison was obviously on a power trip. They wanted to make an example of a superstar that in their minds was thinking he was above the law. Vick wasn't above the law and he didn't think so, but that's how it played out for him. The district attorney struck deals with the other defendants so that it looked like Vick was the only one that had anything to do with Bad Newz Kennelz. I know it, you know it and deep down inside everyone else knows it, Vick was the guy who supplied the money. No matter how many dogs he killed or trained he didn't have all the time in the world to fully comitt to running a dog fighting ring; apparently he was a stud quarterback in Atlanta, and that took up most of his time. I never once read a report that sounded like this: Vick Takes Time Off To Go Back To Virgina, Midway Through Season. A 2 year prison sentence was harsh and if I were the judge that allowed it I would be ashamed of the position I held.

Once it was known that Vick was involved in animal crimes, the media including ESPN and SI both dragged Vick's name though the dirt. Then through mud. Then through manure. It wasn't enough for them. They needed to make sure everyone knew how awful of a human being Vick was. I personally couldn't stand any of the stories. Sports Illustrated I'd expect it from you, but ESPN? ESPN, you failed me. ESPN compassionately reports on the hardships Donte Stallworth has faced since... GET THIS.... KILLING A PERSON! Yes that's right. Where is the media on that one. Who in their right minds is drunk at 7AM? Donte. Who kills a Cuban crossing the street? Donte. Who gets called 'vile human being' by reporters? Vick. I don't understand this one. Many media outlets say it was the man who Stallworth killed is at fault because he was jaywalking. Never mind the blood alcohol level of 0.12. Stallworth gets compassion and practice time with his squad in Cleveland. Vick? Well Vick gets 1 year and a half of prison served and home confinement with a $10 an hour construction job.

But in the end, Vick can only blame himself. In his mind dog fighting wasn't bad. Just like in the mind of McDonald's, slaughter houses aren't horrible, and in the mind of KCF, a 1'x2' cage isn't bad for 12 chickens. It's normal. Completely fine for cows to be rounded up and shot in the head with a 12 inch spike, picked up by the hind legs skinned all at once and processed for human and dog consumption. But some may argue that at least that's for eating, and that can't be bad because it feeds people and it's not for entertainment. Ok good point, but what about hunting, isn't that a game? For entertainment? So naturally the next argument would be, but that is for food consumption too. Ok then, how about this, Vick should have just eaten the dogs he killed. Problem solved.

Probation and an 8 game suspension would have served Vick justice he deserved. Why not. He didn't beat a stripper up(Larry Johnson), he didn't run over a Cuban, he didn't shoot anyone outside a night club(Adam 'Pacman' Jones), and he definitely didn't shoot himself in the leg('Cheddar' Plaxico Burress*) So why is everyone coming down so hard on a guy who payed his debt to society. Michael Vick: Not Guilty**.


*If you don't know why I call him 'Cheddar' watch 8 Mile and remember Cheddar Bob

** Ok maybe a little guilty

The Good Ones Die Young

I stepped into Tops, a used media and trading card store in Benton Harbor, to look through the Cd's. The wife was going to trade a CD in and get another one from they're extensive(cheap) catalog. I knew I had to find another gold nugget, this is where i found Futersex/Lovesounds. And of course there it was. My inner-thug came out when I saw 2pac, All Eyes On ME. In my opinion his greatest CD. California Love, Ambitionz as a Ridah, How Do You Want It, Wonder Why They Call You...(you get the picture). He was a one of a kind rapper/lyricist. He spoke of the real problems on the street, corruption of the government, and even his own death. Then it got me thinking of how many of the "best" have died young. 

It comes at us at all different angles. Music, movies, sports, nobody is spared from the death of a young star. The Day the Music Died is a song about the death of Ritchie Valens, Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper. None of them saw the age of 30. Valens didn't see the age of 20. Heath Ledger, accidental overdose, didn't see the age of 30 either. And just recently up and coming Angel's pitcher Nich Adenhart killed by a drunk driver, just hours after a phenomenal game. Adenhart was 22.

I was surrounded by it this week. I picked up a British magazine that had Green Day on the cover just so I can see the pictures of old men dressing like they're still in they're mid 20's(grow up green day, you're played out) when I came across an article on Kurt Cobain. I liked Nirvana for a 10 minute phase in my life. I knew Nirvana minus Kurt minus awkward tall bassist equals Foo Fighters. What I never really knew was the story of Kurt Cobain's last days(get over it Courtney didn't kill him). What I read was a reporter's point of view on the last lonely and drug filled days(according to accounts from the people that saw him last) of a troubled human. I used to think that Cobain was an over rated musician that helped launch a music scene that was doomed from the start. After reading the article, he was human again. What I read made me see a man in need of help.(This led to a 15 minute conversation with my wife on why I think Cobain needed Dr. Drew and some Geodon)

Quick List Time:

• James Dean, 24
• Hank WIlliams, 29
• River Phoenix, 23
• Selena, 23
• Janis Joplin, 27
• Jim Morrison, 27
• Jimi Hendrix, 27
• Cliff Burton, 25
• Ian Curtis, 23
• Brandon Lee, 28
• Jim Belushi, 33
• Chris Farley, 33

Neil Young once sang, "It's better to burn out than to fade away," a lesson taken to heart.

I Am Not Ashamed to Admit It

Justin Timberlake is a great entertainer.  I've been a closet fan for years. That's right, YEARS. Now I don't care who knows. I had his CD, Justified, in my original Ipod, and when I found Futersex/Lovesounds at a used media store for 3 dollars, I felt like I was stealing it. My senorita didn't have to convince me to get it, I was already way ahead of her. I know it's too late to start reviewing this album but the music, producing and styling of this CD makes me wonder why someone would give this CD away. He found a way to make Timbaland less annoying, make two songs out of one, and of course bring sexy back from hiatus.

Last night SNL featured Justin Timberlake as it's host and Ciara as the musical guest, to make one of the best shows I've seen since the start of the season. Timberlake proves to be an all around performer with his acting ability, comedy, and singing. He was even a part of the music act with Ciara.  The highlight of the show was right at the start(which I've included at the bottom). It made me forget for a good solid hour that the Rockets were probably done for the season without Yao(they actually won without him, who knew). The cherry on top of the sundae was the SNL digital short.  If you haven't seen these, they are the reason why I watch SNL every Saturday, even when they're re-runs. Next Sunday will feature an entire hour to SNL digital shorts at 8pm. That's 7pm to my Texas fan base(like if i even have one). A follow up to D*ck in a Box made this Saturday night worth the wait(I think I waited 3 weeks for a new SNL). And for the people that can't get enough of Jimmy Fallon, Timberlake and Fallon reprised the role of the Brothers Gibb. 

If you missed it this Saturday, I suggest Hulu it, or catch the clips on NBC.com. It's worth the commercials you have to sit through. 

I feel like I've made peace with myself now that I can openly say I'm a JT fan, I just feel bad for the Joey Fatone fans....

This is more of a cry for help than anything else

I'm addicted. Food then gambling, my newest vices. I looked over at La Esposa(Spanish for wife, keep up with me kids) and saw she's been playing the same 5 dollar bill for the last hour, meanwhile I've burned through my 20(that's my limit, no more than an Andy Jackson). If I played my bills right, I would have walked out 50 dollars richer, but the max bet button is too tempting not to press. 

After visiting Blue Chip, Four Winds Casino and Resort was monkey on my back that I needed to pull off. So I start with a clever scheme that involves me hiding all the food in the house so that my wife gets hungry. As soon as she gets hungry I casually mention a casino buffet that's still on lunch special if we act now. And off we we're to New Buffalo. After arguing with the security guard that my wife is of legal age to gamble for about 5 minutes we were finally stamped and let in. I was like Barbaro in the derby. I could even swear I heard old men place bets on how fast I could get there. The fist thing I saw was a sign that screams BREAKFAST. Now eggs to me are like what steaks are to lumberjacks. I love eggs and I knew that i was going to get my money's worth. Eggs were just the beginning. I learned my lesson from Blue Chip and knew I had to pace myself. So there I was skimming the buffet line only getting a little here and a little there. The best thing of course was the breakfast. Chinese food could use some work in the rice department but it was still better than any regular Chinese buffet. Chicken fried corn sounded fattening and delicious but when I finally saw it I was already at the point of no return(you know, when you eat so much and you know one more bite and you'll end up like Mr. Stay Puft at the end of Ghostbusters movie). The disappointment was the fact there was no Mr. Chocolate Fountain. I would hide the whole in my heart with chocolate mousse and gelato. 

After dinner I waddled over to the slots, where I had my twenty in hand and ready for the penny slots. I got separated from my wife in scuffle with old ladies for the best slots and ended up going up and down with my money. I had problems. I would go from $1.50 to $24; from 37 cents and back up to $20. I couldn't stay in a money range, like a fluctuating weight problem of a talk show host. I'd officially became, The Oprah of Gambling. 

Now it's time for the part where i rate it with my.... (cue Charlie's Angels theme music)... Scale With No Merit Once So Ever. 5, yes that right. My first 5. This restaurant had everything you wanted, everything you didn't know you wanted, and everything you left wanting more of. Classy dining, virtually no cigarette smoke, and and inexpensive lunch offer all accumulate to a 5. 

And yes gamble juice is included.

Now I know when I see greatness

I was only a kid when Michael Jordan 3-peated. Even younger the first time he did that. I just sat there mad that the Houston Rockets were eliminated from the playoffs by Shawn Kemp, Gary Peyton and the  Seatle SuperSoincs. Thats right, I jumped the bandwagon. I'm from the south. Not just any south, the kind of south where a quick walk could land you in Mexico. South Texas was San Antonio Spurs territory, but with my relocation to Houston, I couldn't help but get into Hakeem the Dream and winning back to back championships. I was in love with a team that featured a large African man that could definitely kill it in Dancing With the Stars if it were on back then. So when I was seeing MJ just man handle the Jazz, of course only one thing came to mind: overrated. I stand here now in my mid 20's just realizing that I was a witness to the greatness that has become MJ. I'm not a Chicago Bulls fan. I can't even claim I cheered them on. Ok maybe I did, but not because i jumped the MJ bandwagon; I just couldn't stand Malone and Stockton. Malone was an enigma to me because when I would see him in his grotesque Utah uniform he looked like a balding and and out of shape man, but when he would go on the Tonight Show, he was a tall, thin guy who looked like the a typical pro. Then again if i stood next to Jay Leno, I'd probably look like that too... The Leno Effect. It's when average looking people instantly look better because they stand next to Jay. But back to my main point. There will never be another MJ. Even when you describe great people of other sports you call him the MJ of it. Tiger is the MJ of golf. Brady is the MJ of football,(I'm a Cowboy's fan but even I can admit when I see a good QB),  Federer is the MJ of tennis, and I don't care that Nadal beat him on grass, Federer completely dominates. Sampras and Agasi didn't entertain me as much as Federer and Nadal. But the point I'm trying to make is MJ is the MJ of MJ. If that makes sense. Everything he did was like a last minute 3 to win the game. Remember Space Jam. 230,000,000. That's how much money that movie made. Ray Allen couldn't even produce those numbers in He Got Game and he had Denzel Washington as a supporting actor, and Spike Lee as director. I'm pretty sure the Academy of Motion Pictures was scrambling to make a new Oscar category: Best MVP performance. MJ would have won it that year(Brandon Fraiser would have won this award too for his basketball scene in Bedazzled). So whats the lesson? Ray Allen plus Denzel, plus Spike Lee Joint is less than MJ, Bugs Bunny, Taz and a whole mess of alien animation. Its and actual equation they teach in any college level Statistics course. 

I've learned my lesson. Now I look for greatness. I don't want to let it pass me up again, or be bitter that my team didn't make it. It's why I can look at Kobe, Lebron, and Dwight Howard and see that's the next big thing. It's what makes me appreciate that i saw Tim Duncan, David Robinson and Chauncey Billups on the same court at one point in my life. (1999 San Antonio Spurs versus Denver Nuggets, SA won) It's why I can look at my Blackberry and know it will never fail me(my Sidekick did). It's why I point out that Sporty Spice was the dominant singer in the Spice Girls while watching Spice World for the second time(speaking of Spice World, it just bothers me that they took their pregnant friend to a night club). Greatness will not pass me up again. I won't let it. 

Terrible Place

If..

• You are on a diet
• You are Broke
• You are my 15 Year old sister in law

Great place if..

• You are a competitive eater in training
• You like to hiccup hours after you've finished eating
• You want to feel like you ate for the entire week

I took the advice from a friend and coworker and went to Blue Chip Casino and Resort in Michigan City, IN. A going away dinner for a good friend turned into a dinner and gambling 

addiction that I might have to seek professional help for.  You'll be surprised how fast 20 dollars can go in penny slots, 10 minutes to be exact. 

Food, that's what brought me miles away from home to a casino that was going to make up for the fact that i didn't eat a Vegas casino buffet when i was actually in Vegas.  The food is all prepared in small portions so you don't end up eating food that has been sitting for hours under a heat lamp. Salads are made to order. Pizza that doesn't taste like it came from a freezer from Wal-Mart.  Chinese food that tastes better than any Chinese buffet I've ever been to.(and yes, i would know good Chinese food) It was worth the 20 plus dollars a head that you pay. Of course I also have to mention the desert section. I think there was more desert than there was food. Cake, pie, brownies, flan, ice cream. These are just opening acts to the Beatles of deserts... Chocolate Fountain. A glorious chocolate fountain was perched just feet away from me and every time I looked up it just begged me to dip something in it. I was this close to coming back from my fifth trip to the buffet line with every thing chocolate covered. Chocolate covered baked potato, chocolate covered ravioli, chocolate covered mac and cheese, there was no limit to what I wanted to drench in it's creamy magic. This was most certainly the highlight of the buffet, which made me bring out my patented Scale With No Merit Once So Ever. 4 and 3/4 stars in my opinion. If you have an appetite and money to burn head over to Blue Chip. It's worth the trip.

I should also mention that everything is cooked in Blue Chip Gamble Juice, which makes you want to go to the penny slots and waste your hard earned money..... small price to pay for Mr. Chocolate Fountain though.

12 Injured.... 12 WINS

A thunderstorm rolled through Valley Ranch on Saturday setting up what I'm personally taking as an omen for this up coming season.  A total of 12 injuries were reported as a result of the collapsing air tent, so that leaves me to believe 12 wins this season. That's right I'm calling it months before the season begins and marking 12 as my win count for the Dallas Cowboys.  On a serious note, newly hired special teams coach, Joe DeCamillis  sustained one of the worst injuries, breaking his back. On a not so serious note, maybe that was an omen not to have hired that guy.

Forget Amy Poehler... another OC refrence

Here's the set up.. The OC but with Dallas Cowboy players
The Cast:

• Tony Romo- Ryan
• Terrell Owens- Marissa
• Drew Rosenhaus- Summer
• Jason Witten- Seth
• Roy Williams- Taylor
• Jerry Jones- Volchek
• Coach Wade Phillips- Sandy Cohen

Tony Romo comes into the limelight of the Dallas Cowboys and quickly finds a great partner in his go to receiver, TO. They seem to work out and have fun together but there's always some drama when it comes to TO. Luckily he has his best friend that looks out for him, and vice versa, Jason Witten. TO also has his go to guy, Drew Rosenhaus, who makes sure TO gets all the attention($) he deserves. Coach Phillips is the nice guy that just wants everyone to get along, especially with his all star QB. Three Seasons go by fast but by the end of the third season a new person is introduced that everyone thinks will play a supporting role, Roy Williams. Roy Williams will always be a number 2 or even 3 to Romo if you count Witten. TO and Jones are buddies and from the way Jones talks about TO you would never think Jones would ever cut TO. But Jones is a shady character and you can never be to sure what he's up to. He cuts ties(contract) with TO and releases him. What does that mean? Now that leaves a brand new star(lett) Roy Williams to fill the void after three seasons with TO. Big shoes to fill because if i remember right, there was no season 5.

Al Davis proves he's Crazier than Jerry Jones

And Jerry Jones is crazy. He might as well sold the old Texas Stadium for what he got Roy Williams for. I like Roy Williams, he's a UT product, but Jerry Jones just gave up way to much for him. Then if that's not enough he gave away a very good defensive player, in Anthony Henry, for Jon Kitna. Many may argue that it's a better move than Brad Johnson. In many ways yes but Jon Kitna was not the answer. I lost complete respect for him when he was on a struggling Detroit team and after another interception instead of even pretending like he cared about his millionth pick of the season, he just put his head down and walked to the bench, BEFORE THE PLAY WAS EVEN OVER. When I think of Jon Kitna, the word quitter comes to mind. A player should never quit on his team, especially a struggling team in a struggling city. The last thing people from Detroit needed to see was their supposed quarterback walk off the field before the play was over.

Ok, quick NFL Draft update time:

• Detroit will continue to be a horrible team, even with the acquisition of Matthew Stafford. I'm no general manager, but I would have gone the route of the '08 Dolphins and beefed up my line. It doesn't matter how good your quarterback is if you can't protect him.
• The New York Jets gave up a ton of role players (bench riders) to move to the number 5 spot from Cleveland to get an opportunity they couldn't pass on, Mark Sanchez. Sanchez has a whole year of college football under his belt, so lets hope he got in one year what other pros needed to get in at least three.
• Al Davis is making a bid for the 2012 Olympics. His track team should be the most elite competitors in the 100 meter dash. Once again Al Davis proves he can pick top football prospects like Ryan knows how to pick girls that aren't blonde, dumb and annoying.(oc) And with the seventh pick in the 2009 NFL draft the Oakland Raiders select....... wait for it.... wait for it..... there's still plenty of good people left on the draft... they need receivers, defensive backs.... who will they choose........ Darrius Heyward-Bey. What? The speediest receiver at the combine but hands like Edward Scissorhands. Most people had him projected as a second or third rounder. Mean while the guy who single handily stole the Heisman from Colt McCoy, Michael Crabtree, hadn't been picked yet.
• Crabtree was still destined for the bay area, with the 10Th overall pick, San Francisco got a steal and landed a receiver that compares himself to TO, Randy Moss, and Larry Fitzgerald. Now if they could only find somebody that can actually throw to him.
• Ohio State Star Beanie Wells landed with a team that probably doesn't need him. Wells was a standout in high school at Akron, Ohio and was highly recruited, ultimately landing with Ohio State, where in my opinion he had a decent but not outstanding career.
• Mr. Irrelevant went to Kicker Ryan Succop out of South Carolina to Kansas City.

I'm Not Ready For the Future

If 17 again is accurate, then if you look like Zac Efron when you're 17, then you will look like Chandler Bing when you are a middle aged man. That's bad news for me because at 17 i looked more like Chandler. I wonder what that means for me.....

All in all though 17 Again was a decent movie if you can look past the fact that Zac Efron ages horribly.  I mean in high school he's a long haired, wide jawed, dancer; but as an adult his chin recedes back to his face, his hair is bananas, and he's CHANDLER.

I give this movie  a 3.5 out of 5 in a scale i just made up right this instance and really has no merit of any kind.

On an unrelated note, Lollapalooza line up due tomorrow. Lets hope it comes out better than coachella.

Amy Poehler Best of just like the last season of the OC

I came to the conclusion last night right after her montage of weekend update, that the SNL best of Amy Poehler was eerily following the footsteps of season 4 of the OC. It had it's moments, you watched it because you needed to see something that had the franchise name on it, but it maybe ran to long and lost steam halfway through. Don't believe me.... you will.

1.Amy Poehler is a funny woman, don't get me wrong. I just don't think she had the enough funny material to make a best of. The OC is a good drama, everyone can attest to that, but without Marissa the drama was lacking in certain areas that it excelled in the previous seasons.

2. Amy Poehler isn't Tina Fey. In the comedy, writing, or looks. P and R is an office rip off and will never top what 30 Rock has become. I mean come on Alec Baldwin, in a show playing a character that's pretty much him in real life. Classic! Taylor is no Marissa. I need not say more.

3. Ratings dropped halfway through the season 4 and the writers knew they had to wrap it up and quickly string together and ending that will leave viewers wanting more. After Weekend update, the highlight of her best of by the way, the writers probably realized that they had no more good materiel left, so they strung together a montage of quirky one liners and funny bits and pieces of random skits and did that until the next commercial break. Probably going through two packs of cigarettes hoping that nobody realized they basically just bailed out on Amy Poehler.

I'm pretty sure there's more similarities but, i couldn't come up with more and the more i compare SNL and the OC the more i sound like a guy that watches way too much TV.

I also have a theory that Ryan changed his name to Ben and moved to south Los Angeles.

I am not a Bill Simmons rip-off

OK. Maybe I am. For those who do not know who Bill Simmons is, then he's a rip-off of me.

Well now that that's said and done, on with my inaugural post. I should clarify what this blog is even about.
Music, media, events. Very broad and not that informative. I will be reviewing random musical acts, TV shows, sports events, concerts, books i never read judged solely on the cover, food from wherever i go, so on and so on.
I will try to update at least once a week, but the fact that i only get Internet(stolen) from one place in the house that's not a promise I can keep. Not that any body's reading this anyway.

editor's note: i don't have an editor, so if there is any grammar errors, wrong punctuations, or anything that just
looks like if it doesn't belong, sorry. I'm a science major not an English major.