This is more of a cry for help than anything else

I'm addicted. Food then gambling, my newest vices. I looked over at La Esposa(Spanish for wife, keep up with me kids) and saw she's been playing the same 5 dollar bill for the last hour, meanwhile I've burned through my 20(that's my limit, no more than an Andy Jackson). If I played my bills right, I would have walked out 50 dollars richer, but the max bet button is too tempting not to press. 

After visiting Blue Chip, Four Winds Casino and Resort was monkey on my back that I needed to pull off. So I start with a clever scheme that involves me hiding all the food in the house so that my wife gets hungry. As soon as she gets hungry I casually mention a casino buffet that's still on lunch special if we act now. And off we we're to New Buffalo. After arguing with the security guard that my wife is of legal age to gamble for about 5 minutes we were finally stamped and let in. I was like Barbaro in the derby. I could even swear I heard old men place bets on how fast I could get there. The fist thing I saw was a sign that screams BREAKFAST. Now eggs to me are like what steaks are to lumberjacks. I love eggs and I knew that i was going to get my money's worth. Eggs were just the beginning. I learned my lesson from Blue Chip and knew I had to pace myself. So there I was skimming the buffet line only getting a little here and a little there. The best thing of course was the breakfast. Chinese food could use some work in the rice department but it was still better than any regular Chinese buffet. Chicken fried corn sounded fattening and delicious but when I finally saw it I was already at the point of no return(you know, when you eat so much and you know one more bite and you'll end up like Mr. Stay Puft at the end of Ghostbusters movie). The disappointment was the fact there was no Mr. Chocolate Fountain. I would hide the whole in my heart with chocolate mousse and gelato. 

After dinner I waddled over to the slots, where I had my twenty in hand and ready for the penny slots. I got separated from my wife in scuffle with old ladies for the best slots and ended up going up and down with my money. I had problems. I would go from $1.50 to $24; from 37 cents and back up to $20. I couldn't stay in a money range, like a fluctuating weight problem of a talk show host. I'd officially became, The Oprah of Gambling. 

Now it's time for the part where i rate it with my.... (cue Charlie's Angels theme music)... Scale With No Merit Once So Ever. 5, yes that right. My first 5. This restaurant had everything you wanted, everything you didn't know you wanted, and everything you left wanting more of. Classy dining, virtually no cigarette smoke, and and inexpensive lunch offer all accumulate to a 5. 

And yes gamble juice is included.